Chapter 10 of ? (sisters)

Just between you and me, Heather is my balance and doesn’t even know it. She’s not only pretty and smart, she’s realistic. I face life with fear of what-if, and she appears to live it each day, sometimes by the hour. I admire that, but can’t find my comfort level with it. It’s not a judgment thing – it’s a fear of losing her in childish decisions where she gets hurt. I feel a responsibility. Saying that out loud sounds really silly, because in fact, I have no control.

She’s the fun person I can’t be – the friend that knows no limits to defend – the girl that says it like it is, whether anyone is offended or not – and one that can turn two hours of freedom into a memorable adventure.  I sincerely don’t feel jealousy – I’m in awe of her as a total independent thinking person … or so she seems to be. Right now, I think Heather is being rebellious because she hides out a lot and doesn’t talk much. I see boys are obsessed with her, and she gets a lot of attention from them.

I’m sitting at the dresser brushing my hair, and catch a glimpse of Heather’s reflection in the mirror as she quietly walks into the bedroom.

Heather sits down on the side of the bed, “I’m sorry for yelling at you, Jane, but you don’t understand – he told me I am the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. It’s not like you to be jealous.”

“I’m not jealous of you, I’m scared for you. You’re a woman now even though you’re still a kid too. You don’t need to be kissing him like that. I’m not even ready to have sex, and you’re younger. How could it be in your best interest to get talked into doing it?”

Turning around to look directly into Heather’s eyes, I asked her, “What do you want for yourself, Heather?”

With tears running down her face, “I want to have some fun. I want to be like other girls and do what they do. They must like me, I need that.” I waited to really listen to what she was saying.

“My grades are not as good as yours, it’s boring. I don’t want to be in an office all day. I want a real job, a fun job.” Heather looked around the room, “I want more than this, and get away from a father that yells so much I feel like I’m walking on eggs to stay out of trouble with him. Have you noticed Mom is more fun when he’s not in the house?”

“Yes, I’ve noticed, but that’s not the issue here. Let me put it this way, Heather. We need to come to an agreement on some basic things. Do we agree that we can live only one life at the time?”

“I’m not sure what you’re saying, my life now is not my life like when I’m older, maybe 20.”

“I thought so. I need to share something with you. Are you listening?”

With full attention, Heather said, “Yes.”

“You have just one life on this earth. It starts when you are still in your mother’s womb, you get a name when you are born, and it ends when you die. That is one lifetime. Can we agree on that?”


“It usually takes about eighteen years for most people to become a mentally mature adult that can take care of themselves without help, Right?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, Heather, tell me something … if you lost your family today, could you take care of yourself with no help from anybody?”

“I could get a job.”

I ask her, “What could you do to earn enough money to rent an apartment and buy a car you would need to get around and go to work? For Christ’s sake, Heather, you can’t even drive yet! You have one life in this one body – now is part of that life. What you decide now will matter to you later.”

I’m asking again, “What would you do?”

“I could get married, and he would take care of me.”

I speak to her slowly, hoping the words sink in one thought at the time, “Fine, think about that for a while. Also, think about the questions he might have about what you let other people do with your body. Who would you marry, a boy that’s been busy kissing any girl that will let him? A real man will not marry a child. You’re anxious to have fun, without seeing you could give up your right to be kissed and touched by someone you chose as a mature woman. Have you thought of this before?”

“No.” Heather put her hands over her face in embarrassment.

Reaching to hold her hand, “I promise you Heather, you are popular because people naturally like you. You don’t have to do anything sexual to try to win their friendship. Just be yourself – you have real friends that care about you – but I’m telling you now, you can’t count on someone else to protect you – that’s your job.”


Chaper 1 of ? (…just thoughts & notes…)

The bedroom on the front of the house was warm. With the windows rolled out wide, I sat on the sill with one leg outside to let my foot dangle and play with the hibiscus blossoms that had folded for the night. The street light on the corner played games with the shadows as occasionally a car would pass through the neighborhood. Everything was quiet as I took in the light breeze.

I’m thinking, what in the world am I going to do? We’ve got five kids in our family now. I look over at my three little brothers sound asleep on the bed and my heart melts. I’ll graduate from high school in a few short years. They’ll still be young, too young to leave. Mom needs help from me and my sister. She had to go to work to help support us all. Heather is younger than me, but she’s so beautiful, I know she’ll get married first.

Finally realizing it was getting very late and I had to get up early, I lay down on the little bed and tried to go to sleep.

Edited to add notes: (What can one expect, the idea of a book is scary, especially when I don’t know what I’m doing!)

[Jane was a naïve and shy kid. Her name was perfect to joke about – plain Jane, tall and skinny.

The sisters just two years apart, had their own separate friends and interests. Their greatest bond was they dearly loved their family. Neither girl knew what it was like to have her own bedroom or her own bed. No privacy at all. Actually, that was accepted as normal because it was just life in a large family.

Living in a family of seven, there wasn’t much time to look past school and church to know much of the outside world. A couple of local television stations were available and the standards for suitable broadcasts were set very high for content. Their evening news reports were scripted and somber, and delivered by an authoritative personality that was rarely questioned.

Her younger sister, Heather, had a cherub face with curly brown hair and large happy eyes that caught the attention of everyone that saw her. It was a rather average poor family in many ways for the time. Although they didn’t really feel poor, they just knew they didn’t have a lot of nice things others had.]

To Deb’s Mom

For Deb's Mom

I hope you understand, I’m taking liberty with a photo that does not belong to me. Please do not commercial this photo without contacting the copyright owner. I feel the end justifies the means, because I need to send a message to Deb’s Mom and haven’t figured out another way to do it – how could I attach an image to a prayer. She can help Deb understand the missing petal in the sunflower.

Dear Deb’s Mom, I know you loved Deb with all your heart. That shows every day in Deb’s eyes and words as she cares for friends and strangers alike.

I know you suffered through challenges in life, because everyone does. On October 15th, you left us all. As you know, Deb worries that she could never see you enough. She worries that she could not attend your funeral. She feels heartache, and other emotions that humans feel when they cannot do something for ones they love.

Now it’s your time to do things you probably never imaged possible. Love has no boundaries. Reach out to Deb and gently hold her – talk to her, reassuring your eternal love. Stay close when she needs to feel your presence.

I know it’s crowded where you are, but if you perchance meet my mother Elizabeth – she’ll show you how to do it. Don’t worry, Deb doesn’t have to participate in meetings, machines, drugs, or regulations. The contacts are direct from you to her, and very private.

The Storage Shed – The Plan

I see it differently. When poor people had debt, rich people were “paper millionaires,” with liquidity at less than zero, the opportunity rose for the wealthy to write their own entitlement claim – and they did so in a big way. In their quest for even more power, they melded the wealthiest to buy Washington to control yet the Treasury. The quest for world dominance has been moving forward to decades. The twists and turns for them to gobble up some economies and excrete onto others has been phenomenal. The next steps will be most interesting, as they continue to divide and conquer, and use us like pawns playing on the weaknesses of our history. Open your eyes, my friends, you are being plated for dinner.

Pharoah Inhotep … fascinating history

Thoughts of Egypt

At, Bruce was talking about Pharoah Inhotep. Since I love reading about historical people that contributed so much to our world of knowledge, I thought I would start studying him. About ten years ago, I painted this image that so many people interpreted as Egyptian. So, I thought I would use it for this post!

So far, my first stop is Wikipedia. For those that know me, I refuse to put a fence around my world or my God. Maybe as a result of this, my mind is more open to possibilities of life. The thing that struck me immediately about this Pharoah – he was deified through the claim his mother was the goddess of the sky and his father the earth god, and he was their first common mortal human. He personally contributed knowledge to the world in architecture, engineering, medicine, using his rare understanding of advanced mathematics.

It really doesn’t matter what one believes of myth, or God, or historical documents. What is apparent to me – our world has been a mystery of life. That mystery has been hidden, with bits and pieces of it doled out in manipulated forms. Truth has a way of surviving all obstacles. We are a blessed earth, and a blessed species of life. Through the ages of our long path of development, we’ve had help along the way. The wars, peace, bare survival, and explosions of knowledge have been for a reason. One human mind cannot hold that knowledge and one human heart cannot hold that most certain love for us.

Read, study and decide for yourself. The greatest high in the world has to be the awareness that humans are indeed valuable and treasured by a life greater than ourselves – on an understanding of the love a man feels for his son, imagine mankind is the son.

Understanding comes before Education

Don’t speak to me of science, when I cannot add and subtract. Don’t speak to me of faith, when I cannot trust. Don’t speak to me of responsibility, when I am cold. Don’t speak to me of morals, when I have no choices to survive; nor family, gone, because it cannot sustain itself. Understanding people’s experience is the key to ‘modern’ education. That starts with helping them to understand themselves, because of where they have been – and showing them there is a way forward. There’s nothing wrong with brains – they just need to be unlocked and allowed to be free.

The care and feeding of children starts at home. If there is no home to care, what then? Can the educational system be surrogate – it has failed so far? They save a few kids, but at a very high cost. The greatest loss is another generation and their missed potential – a terrible waste.

What is a Consumer Sucker?

I really don’t like the sound of that name, BUT more and more I see that is exactly what we have become. It’s sad. With inflation of commercial transportation and the price of food (and everything else) – we’re becoming aware that we have less to spend, if we still have a job.

The only way I know to combat this trend from the home front, is to begin to say “No.”

“No, I decide where I spend the money I have.” I refuse to fall for your advertising again, only to discover you did not disclose enough to be truly honest about what you were offering.”

“No, I won’t buy a new one. You will repair the factory defect of the one I already bought.” If you want me to buy another washing machine, you will engineer them to last longer than three years. The old ones lasted fifteen to twenty years just fine. With millions using washing machines, you cannot get away with engineering obsolescence to increase unreasonable sales. What’s it doing to the environment in the junk yards? Not only that, quote a price I can afford. Just because I’m poor, doesn’t mean I don’t have to wash my clothes.

I admit to being a consumer sucker one time in recent history. I thought I would need one more computer that would last the rest of my life, because my old ones had lasted for many years. Reasonable, right? Yep, I ended up paying $2,000 for a laptop. Guess what? I thought I was smarter than that and should have known better. “Engineered Obsolescence” bit me in the butt!

That’s my experience – you got one? Have you been a Consumer Sucker?